Even if the relationship is successful, says Gaffin, one party usually has to give something up to make it work­certain responsibilities, leadership, sometimes even the job itself. "It's tense, because there's more than just the two people involved," he says. "You have your work, your livelihood, and the importance your work has for other employees." Add to that the resentment and gossip that arise when co-workers assume there's favoritism going on.

"The best policy, really, is 'don't date,' but that's not realistic," he says. "When hormones are involved, we're amazing at rationalizing things in our favor." So what's a mooning employee supposed to do about their distracting desires? It may seem unromantic, but the best move is to make sure you know the company policy--not that you necessarily need to follow it. You'll simply have more ammunition for dealing with your boss should he or she take issue with your relationship. "I wouldn't bring it up," Gaffin says, " but if the boss asks, you need to be prepared to answer. If you don't know what the company policies are, you're setting yourself up for a land mine."

If your boss does get nosy, encourages Gaffin, "Ask why this is a concern of the company, rather than saying 'yes ma'am', 'no sir'." With the company policy in hand, you can ask for definitions of its parts and consider how your actions fit in.